College, Friends, and Marriage

I know it's been a while since I've written. It's not that I don't have time, I just have so many thoughts milling, and no idea how to put them into reasonable verbage. What I guess I'll do is just go through my thoughts by category, because that's how I work. Speaking of work: I love my job, I like the people I work with, most of the people I work for, and I don't often leave work stressed out. However, it's not a career. It's an in-between. Without college though, isn't that what I'll be doing? Jumping from in-between to in-between? If I have to dip in to my savings to eat, because I did something nice for myself then how will I pay for college? Loans are... loans.. Who's to say I will even get a job that I can pay off those loans after I graduate. My last job and this job, I work with a bunch of people with degrees, and they make what I do, only less because they are paying off loans that were practically pointless for them to get as it was. So I'm not going to college. Working an in-between job isn't unsatisfying, because I never want to settle down completely.. Maybe that's just right now. Friends and marriage. Seems to be the topic of my life. "Hey Stacie! Guess what?? " "You're getting married?" "How'd you know?" "Because everyone is getting freakin married!!" We are too young people!!! I mean it would be nice to have someone special to share life with, but we are young! How do you even know you're the grown up version of you, and what if when you become that person you're not such a good match?? I'm growing apart from most of my long time friends simply because we are different people than we were back in the day. It's not bad, we are just changing, seperately. So.. I guess it's time to branch out. Meet some people, change habits, and fly on my own. Free bird will find her way, but I wish it didn't involve lonliness. OH well, have fun with your kids when you're 25 and I'm still having the time of my life. With love, Stacie.

One Year Plan

Well, this here situation I'm in is not working. Why do I feel lonely at a church I've been to my whole life? Why do I feel like all but a select few of my friends view me as expendable? If I'm gonna be lonely what's the point of being lonely somewhere I've been forever? SOOO I'm seriously considering moving to Portland, Vancouver, or Seattle area. Wherever I can find a job. It's the change of pace, and the new situation I'm looking for. I a free bird. My job here is ok, I have no boyfriend, and I really don't do anyting aside from leadership at Sunday night church that I'm proud of or feel...a part of. If something's not working, why linger? Move on, fly to a new nest, one that isn't broken, damaged and painful. Lately I've been pretty introverted so the first few months not knowing many people won't be so bad at all. I'll read, and write and bask in the green rainy beauty of the west (california sucks, and cannot be included in the previous description). I'll find a church first off, and really work to get involved. I'll be the best witness I can be, and people who will only know that Stacie, not the one who goes in and out of being a good example. I'll explore the beauty God made and love it. I get butterflies thinking about living there, no where else in the U.S does it for me. *No offense AL*. I want a fresh start, what better time than the present before I have a solid reason not to? Maybe it's just the thing to get the rest of my life rollin'. I feel closest to God when I'm deep in natural beauty- the mountains, beach, whatever. I believe there to be no more beautiful place to live out my faith. If that doesn't work, I'll come back. Just like I did from AL and start over here *again*. Maybe I'm meant to constantly move. Maybe one day I can settle, but who's to say it's here? Just a thought.

Stacie Lately

Since I posted, a lot has changed. Got my own pad. It's not much but it's home. Living alone can be so lonely, and yet it's the kind of lonliness I'm starting to enjoy. I'm at a different job, this one's a lot better stress-wise. I don't want to walk off my balcony every day now.. I've been extremely sick and confused, both seem to be clearing a little bit. The sickness more than the confusion. Got more tattoos and piercings (5 of each now) and a brand. I'm still discovering ways to express myself you could say. I'm on leadership at New Life, which has proven to be an incredible thing for me. I'm hoping to get a lot more involved there. I have a lot of new friends, a few of whom I've learned to be extremely flakey. That's the thing.. right now I feel I'd be better off just chillin with some books and good music alone for a while.. I don't want to shut people out, but you get let down enough and it's what you want to do most. I do anyways. I guess I'm in a wierd transition in life, and I'm trying to figure out the purpose for it, and who I'm going to be when I come out of it. I think I'll utilize this here blog thingy a little more, and maybe through expression of emotion on a site noone actually visits (I have no followers) will be healthy. I'm gonna try and write on my paper journal too, cuz it was kind of expensive.. OH yeah, I think I'm gonna take up the piano again. Maybe one day I'll write a decent song. I dunno. Got a lot on my mind.

Shout Out!

This is a shout out to Hannah, she's the only follower of my blog.

Tibet

My heart is still in Tibet. A piece of it anyways. I sort of never wanna take missions trips anywhere else! As wrong as that sounds, as long as there is work to do in Tibet, I want to help it get done. I need to commit to praying for that country more; because I can't be there physically it's all I can do. I love Tibet, I love it's people. So I'm totally free Tibet, but not in a political way (I'm not really anything in a political way). I can't wait to find out about an opportunity to serve there again.

First Blog

Ok, so I don't really know what I'm doing, but I was reading a friend's blog, and it seemed like a cool way to express how I feel. Well, I'm working on moving out of my parent's house on Wednesday. That will be really cool, as I will have my OWN apt. It will also be a little sad because I'm used to always having my family around, but I suppose that's what Sunday's are for! I feel so grown up and I love it. Work is ok. It's unfortunate that I have to pretty much keep to myself to stay out of gossip and drama. It's like middle school all over again. But, I love my job, and my hours so. I guess that's really it for right now.

3 DAYS UNTIL I MOVE

45 DAYS UNTIL I GO ON VACATION!